Lonely like This

as lonely as six. hours. of tele.vision. a worm. in an apple.
baby. in an incubator. born early. wilted. lettuce. or rust.
under the drip. as lonely as mountains: miles of mountains.
or snoring. walk. in a restaurant. force yourself. say "party
of one." or "just me." uncalculated. air. one shoe. one
earring. one twin. one parent. one lung. lonely. like writing
poems. in the nude. crying. in coffee. first thing in the
morning. like divorce. surgery. wake up to a mirror in
which your swollen face is the only reflection. or marry a
pilot. speak. only to the babies. you made together. haven't
had an adult. conversation. in months. like alcohol. or
bar.tenders. or choose not to. bathe. lonely. like this. like
this. like this.

Field the Movement

I run in the street
bangin music and beats
slammin speakers and knees
mary j and jay z
poppin rockets for me

and i run

sneakers over concrete
cars cruise and beep
new york city to keep

space while I run

gained weight or lost love
I decided to run through
advisement from dawn
I smash down my feet
in appropriate streets
sweat and sing -- sweet
failure of song

while I run

men holler but I don't bother
an offer of eyes or flex
up my thighs cuz at once
in too long
comfort fumbles toward
responsible :: impossible
perhaps even :: powerful

and I run

toward leaps into energy
saved for sadderdays strong
like mary, the magic, mary, the music
propels anger into shivers of
awwwwww shit

so I run

Terrorists

Terror as in:

summer pudding, filmy.
wooden knives,
Staten Island.

bed liners:
moth cycles:
joke wareshouses (teeth and all.)

american pick up trucks and thunking metal chains.
doing it wrong -- traveling
alone or with salesmen.

birthing virtual babies in public places,
pap smear campaigns.

massive bobcats attack
bloody pirates (gaping and dirty).

letters shrinking & suicide
captured on camera.
squacking birds in clouded skies.
and winded good-byes.





or perhaps:

what happens to men
after they soak us?
establish the seed and leave
us now with impossible trees?

then what happens?

Without Coffee Without Song

Her silent desire:
these seeds, ground up & us
occupied in apologies,

polite urging of harmonies,
pleasing vibrations that travel
into and around our most sensitive organs.

Let us operate and control the road,
chew and swallow the sky,
participate in violent struggle

in rare instances because
divergent hostility
is better than loneliness.

The Woman in the Moon

The Woman in the Moon

Still Chang'e lives, a spinster mostly, on the moon, dances in silk.

Legend says she swallowed the entire immortality elixir

which she had fully intended to share with Yi

(whose do-gooding got them banished

from the highest court of heaven).

Perhaps she wanted a divorce or

maybe it was a fancy mistake.

Either way, notice how

companionless

she sways.

7/14/08

Divination Cards: Megan and Mel

The Artists:

The following posts (all of November) are intended as a prototype for a set of Divination Cards created in collaboration with artist Megan Gertler. Megan can be reached at theseahagsdaughter@yahoo.com. I can be reached at msmel1979@yahoo.com.

Our Idea:

divination. as a method. of standing under.

these cards are intended to re-present. perhaps you have a question. allow the cards to offer an alter.native. to suggest. a not her way of seeing. a glimpse. glance. into your reality. in to some thing. out.side the scope. of your vision. or mine. some thing channeled me. to write. these words. un.censored. many of them. written on my fire escape. out side. al.one. in a confined space. anxious. listen to the wind. watch the birds. sit alone. write in my notebook. in no chrono.logical order.

So I wrote them down. and you picked them up. what brought you here? do you believe in coincidences? can one act ever exist on its own timeline? choose a card. any one.

read the text. look at the images. can you imagine why you might have chosen that card? that particular message? perhaps that card chose you? is it possible that messages come from space to reach a person who needs to hear them? are you lonely? maybe today you are on the verge of a major decision. sell your house. marry. have an abortion.

I have no ideas why the card you chose might be of any interest to you. at all. but you do. read the text. look at the images. what’s happening here? do you know? are you prepared to consider the messages?

how you read them is up to you. I suggest candles. quiet spaces. contemplation. pick one at random. just point and click. see what happens. how your life is reflected. how it isn’t. expect nothing. be open to anything.

Love Card

L O V E

(never what it seems)

love. as in: missing you. exhaust time. write poems. about love. for love. with the hope of falling. in love. with desperation. with in.action. a need. to be. cared for. a performance. of caring. smile. butter his bread.

love. as in: some body help me. I got bills. mommy lives. far. a way. I need. some one wash my panties. love. as in: sex. at night. after work. a person. to attend. functions with. a person. tell me I appear. beautiful. aesthetically. re.assure me. touch. a person. not plugged in. to the wall. can’t put it in. the drawer. a person. with breath. who loves me.

love. as in: my parents. their love. as a model. for my lovers. my imagination of. their love. or decision to. love. their children. their jobs. their house. while I re.side. alone. in new jersey. wear glasses.

love. as in: I’m sorry. I can never speak. to you. a.gain. as in: this will. never work. bet.ween us. me and you. it’s over. sorry. it’s not that. it’s not. love. it’s not that it’s not. it’s just not. love. as in: all over. now. love. as in: eating pizzas. on the bed. in our under wear. grow fat to.get.her. to age. with food. on my face. laugh. your feet. curl. under your thigh. massage your head. a beautiful shape. for a head. with a dip. love. as in: missing you. as in: a fantasy of what. kind. of. relation ship we might sail. if we weren’t two. authentic people. there were never enough. lies. for us. to survive.